Howdy y'all. So, I realized that I have not written much about MK's (Missionary Kids) or TCK's (Third Culture Kids). And while, in many ways, we are no different than your average kid or teenager, there are some aspects to us that might come as a bit of a surprise.
Some examples:
1. "Where are you from?" ...I don't think people understand just how difficult it is for us to answer that question. Our parents are from one country (and, very possibly 2 different States if they're from the USA); our home church -- if you're in the States -- is very possibly in a totally different State; we live in another country; many of us were born in a different country. And if you include the places where our grandparents live... Oh boy. Not to mention the various other countries in which we might have previously lived. The locations for us to choose from very quickly add up. Honestly, if you ask us this question, you'd better be prepared to listen to our entire life story. A better question to ask would be, "Where have you lived?"
2. We can speak with authority on the subject of airline travel. When it comes to airports and airlines, we all have our favorites. We know the pros and cons. This airline always has "good" food (I put the quotation marks because in my opinion, almost all airplane food is disgusting... not all, but most) and service, while this airline shows free movies. This airport has free WiFi and the security area is easy to get through, while that airport is easy to maneuver around and has excellent restaurants/coffees shops. In my opinion, one of the greatest airports in the world is Incheon International in South Korea because it has all of the above. Not to mention, it has cultural things you can participate in, as well.
3. We have passports before we ever have a driver's license.
4. We know that "knowing how to pack a suitcase" doesn't just mean knowing how to put things in a suitcase. It mostly means that we know what needs to be packed and what will just be extra weight. We also know that many people in our sending countries do not know how to pack a suitcase.
5. We pass geography class with flying colors. You wouldn't believe how many people I know in America who have gotten countries and continents mixed up.
Comments from non-TCK's/MK's: "Africa's a big country." "Where in Africa is Peru?" "...there's such a place as Korea?"
Explanations from TCK's/MK's: "<enter country> is located directly above <enter another country>." "...*hands the other person a globe/map* I live here."
6. We use the phrase, "It has about the same time zone as..."
7. There aren't many questions that people have asked that haven't been answered a hundred times before...in one month.
8. We have many "Aunts" and "Uncles." These are not our biological aunts and uncles, but rather friends of our parents. We are often closer to these people than we are to our family in our passport country. I love my parents' brothers and sisters to death, but due to living overseas for my entire life, I am closer to people who are non-related. So, though we are not related, they become something like aunts and uncles.
9. We suffer from culture shock on a regular basis. We do not only experience culture shock when visiting our passport country for the first time in three or four years (or more). It is experienced every time a short term team arrives. Music and humor are constantly changing. One style of music and clothing suddenly comes into fashion, and goes out of fashion just quickly. For those of us living overseas, by the time we get accustomed to a certain style, short term teams are coming with humor from the newest movies, TV shows, listening to the newest music, dressing in the newest styles and we feel out of place. We cannot contribute to conversation as easily because we do not understand the humor and even the culture.
10. Most of us would rather move to another foreign country than back to our passport country. I honestly would prefer moving to South America, Africa, or somewhere in Europe than go back to live in the United States. The US is more of a foreign country to me than any other place. Don't get me wrong. I love the US, and support those who fight for it. My family is quite patriotic in that we love and will fight for our passport country, and we pray for our leader. I enjoy going to the States for a few months on visits... but after the third month has passed, I'm ready to come home. Our sending country is not home to us. So many people have asked me, "So, are you happy to be back home with your family?" Excited to visit America? Yes. Excited to see my family? Yes. Is it home? No. Am I excited to go back to China? Yes.
And last but not least...
11. We. Are. Not. Perfect. You may be reading this and thinking, "Of COURSE they're not perfect." But we MK's often get a different vibe. Our parents are Missionaries. The high and mighty Missionaries. So holy. Such good Christians. They can do no wrong. ...you think I'm exaggerating. Our parents are Missionaries, and because of that, people often believe what I wrote up above. That they are more holier, that they are better Christians. Because we are the children of the Missionaries, we are often put upon the same pedestal. Yes, we know... "People look up to us." "We need to be good examples." We don't feel like there is room for us to slip up, even once in a while.
In all reality, cultural differences and titles aside, we MK's and TCK's are just the same as every other average kid, teenager, and adult out there. We have struggles. We hurt. We enjoy life. We enjoy simple things like reading a book... we don't have to be out hunting tigers to have satisfaction in our lives. Sure, we might enjoy different sorts of things than those people in our sending countries, but we're still people like everyone else. We make mistakes. We yell and get into arguments with our parents and siblings. We can be lazy. We can be struggling in keeping up with our personal Quiet Time with God. We might even be at a point where we don't necessarily like or want to do what God is telling us.
So were you surprised by any of the things I've mentioned? There are many other things I could have chosen, but alas, my post would go on and on.
Showing posts with label MK. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MK. Show all posts
Friday, February 22, 2013
Friday, August 17, 2012
Life in the Fishbowl
This is something I wrote and posted on Facebook a few months back. However, I thought I would post it again, as it gives a lot of insight to my life as a TCK/MK.
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Think of the movie Finding Nemo. At the Dentist’s office, there is a fish tank. Enter the little girl who pokes at the glass in wonder at the creatures within. That’s me. No, no, not the girl -- the creatures within.
For my entire life, I have lived in a “fishbowl.” Being Caucasian in Korea and China may have something to do with that fact. My family and I are always being stared at, pointed at, and being stopped so somebody can have his or her picture taken with us. When I was little, pre-teens, teenagers, and college-age students constantly showered my sisters and me with attention. We were the cute little blonde headed, blue-eyed girls and everyone wanted to have pictures taken with us. I was relieved and excited when I passed the “cute” stage. I didn’t mind that my sisters were the primary attraction. Unfortunately, before long, I entered “a different kind of cute stage” as my dad puts it. College students and young adults suddenly decided they wanted pictures with me again. I just can’t win!
There are a couple of negative aspects to living in the fishbowl. However, there are also positive ones.
One such negative aspect would be that having people stare, point, and stop you for picture taking every five steps (supposing you even get that far) can become veeeery tiresome. For example, when you are touring The Forbidden City, you want to be able you look at the different attractions, not become the primary exhibit on display. When my grandparents visited a few years ago, a popular song which was sung among us went like this: “Just keep walking, just keep walking, just keep walking, walking, walking. What do we do? We walk, walk, walk.” (Sung to the tune of “Just Keep Swimming” from Finding Nemo.) If you don’t want others to stop you, you don’t stop at all.
Ever get the feeling you’re being watched? “Always” would be my answer to that question whenever I’m outside of my house in Asia. Another negative aspect is that somebody is always watching you. If they are not taking your picture, they are pointing at you. If they are not pointing, they are staring. There is no privacy when you are out and about. They observe everything about us: how we act, what we say, how we say it.
The previous example can be twisted, though, into something positive. We are always being observed. How we act, how we speak, how we interact with each other and with other people we come into contact with -- nothing goes unnoticed. Now think for a second. Just a moment ago, I showed this very point in a negative light. So how can I view this positively? This is where the thinking part comes in. Are you ready for this? Here you go. What an opportunity God has set up for my family to shine the light of Christ! It really is set up perfectly.
Now, my family is far from perfect. When we are swimming around in our fishbowl, it is easy for people to notice we are imperfect. But it is our imperfection that allows other individuals to relate to us. It helps them to understand that we are just like them in many ways. And yet, despite our failures, people can sense something different about us. One young lady came up to my mom and asked, “Why is your family always so joyful?” This girl had pretty much seen each of us at our worst. And yet she noticed something different in our lives, something that she greatly desired. She saw the joy that only comes from Jesus Christ.
As I was thinking about my fishbowl predicament, I suddenly had an epiphany. Christians should always be living in a fishbowl. Now, I’m not saying that you should go out into the street expecting a hoard of people to rush at you in hopes of a picture. But those of us serving in a foreign country should not be the only ones who stand out. There should be a definite difference between those who follow Christ and those who do not. People should be able to observe us and notice something different about you. Those of you in your home countries can do just as much standing out as those of us who happen to live overseas.
I once heard it said that we as believers are the only Bible some people will ever read. It's hard for that happen when there is no visible difference. Sobering thought, eh? So how about we stop being minnows out of water and hop back into our fishbowl? It’s where we’re meant to be, anyway.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Think of the movie Finding Nemo. At the Dentist’s office, there is a fish tank. Enter the little girl who pokes at the glass in wonder at the creatures within. That’s me. No, no, not the girl -- the creatures within.
For my entire life, I have lived in a “fishbowl.” Being Caucasian in Korea and China may have something to do with that fact. My family and I are always being stared at, pointed at, and being stopped so somebody can have his or her picture taken with us. When I was little, pre-teens, teenagers, and college-age students constantly showered my sisters and me with attention. We were the cute little blonde headed, blue-eyed girls and everyone wanted to have pictures taken with us. I was relieved and excited when I passed the “cute” stage. I didn’t mind that my sisters were the primary attraction. Unfortunately, before long, I entered “a different kind of cute stage” as my dad puts it. College students and young adults suddenly decided they wanted pictures with me again. I just can’t win!
There are a couple of negative aspects to living in the fishbowl. However, there are also positive ones.
One such negative aspect would be that having people stare, point, and stop you for picture taking every five steps (supposing you even get that far) can become veeeery tiresome. For example, when you are touring The Forbidden City, you want to be able you look at the different attractions, not become the primary exhibit on display. When my grandparents visited a few years ago, a popular song which was sung among us went like this: “Just keep walking, just keep walking, just keep walking, walking, walking. What do we do? We walk, walk, walk.” (Sung to the tune of “Just Keep Swimming” from Finding Nemo.) If you don’t want others to stop you, you don’t stop at all.
Ever get the feeling you’re being watched? “Always” would be my answer to that question whenever I’m outside of my house in Asia. Another negative aspect is that somebody is always watching you. If they are not taking your picture, they are pointing at you. If they are not pointing, they are staring. There is no privacy when you are out and about. They observe everything about us: how we act, what we say, how we say it.
The previous example can be twisted, though, into something positive. We are always being observed. How we act, how we speak, how we interact with each other and with other people we come into contact with -- nothing goes unnoticed. Now think for a second. Just a moment ago, I showed this very point in a negative light. So how can I view this positively? This is where the thinking part comes in. Are you ready for this? Here you go. What an opportunity God has set up for my family to shine the light of Christ! It really is set up perfectly.
Now, my family is far from perfect. When we are swimming around in our fishbowl, it is easy for people to notice we are imperfect. But it is our imperfection that allows other individuals to relate to us. It helps them to understand that we are just like them in many ways. And yet, despite our failures, people can sense something different about us. One young lady came up to my mom and asked, “Why is your family always so joyful?” This girl had pretty much seen each of us at our worst. And yet she noticed something different in our lives, something that she greatly desired. She saw the joy that only comes from Jesus Christ.
As I was thinking about my fishbowl predicament, I suddenly had an epiphany. Christians should always be living in a fishbowl. Now, I’m not saying that you should go out into the street expecting a hoard of people to rush at you in hopes of a picture. But those of us serving in a foreign country should not be the only ones who stand out. There should be a definite difference between those who follow Christ and those who do not. People should be able to observe us and notice something different about you. Those of you in your home countries can do just as much standing out as those of us who happen to live overseas.
I once heard it said that we as believers are the only Bible some people will ever read. It's hard for that happen when there is no visible difference. Sobering thought, eh? So how about we stop being minnows out of water and hop back into our fishbowl? It’s where we’re meant to be, anyway.
Welcome!
Hello there! My name is Rachel Etter and this is my first blog. Before I get into my reasoning for starting this blog, let me introduce myself.
I am an MK living in North East Asia--China, to be specific. I was born in Seoul, South Korea, and lived there until I was almost eleven. At that point, my family moved to Yanji, China. As you can see, I have never really lived in the United States, which is where I have citizenship. I have visited the US, to be sure. My family travels there every three or four years and stays for about four or five months. There are exceptions to this, as once or twice my family traveled to the States two years in a row--for example, we went in 2007, and then again in 2008. In 2010, we went back again and stayed for nearly eight and a half months.
I am now seventeen years old and, as of this past June, have graduated from high-school at the top of my class--I was homeschooled, and therefore was always at the top of my class. I simply feel smarter when I can brag in such a way. I am taking a gap year which means I am staying at home for one more year before heading to (hopefully!) Liberty University next Fall. During this next year, I will be studying more Chinese, taking more online college courses through LU (I say "more," because I started taking them during my senior year of high-school), and working.
I have four sisters. Torie, who is fifteen, is our artsy one. You'll often find her drawing or painting in her room, outside, or anywhere else she feels like working. She loves bright colors and would choose a fruity sherbert over chocolate ice-cream any day. She also loves reading and is currently writing a story. Charis is thirteen. She enjoys sewing, knitting, cross-stitching, latch-hook... You get the picture. She also really enjoys cooking and drawing, as well as reading and writing stories. Alia is our youngest--sort of (you'll find out why in a minute). Anyone meeting us would know that she is the baby of the family. She's ten years old and is spoiled rotten--I mean, she's adorable. Alia is extremely outgoing and out of all my sisters, she is the one who is most likely to go outside and play with the local children, even though there are language difficulties. Alia, like my other two sisters, enjoys reading and writing stories, and drawing. She also can be found playing dress-up and house with her friends.
So far, I've mentioned only three of my sisters. The youngest is Hanissa and she is four years old. We are in the process of adopting her from Ethiopia. The Ethiopian government has signed her over to us, and she is now officially part of our family. She is still in Ethiopia, and my parents hope to be able to return in a month or two to bring her home. We are currently awaiting the US Embassy's approval of the documents.
Thus is the brief (...yes. This is the brief version!) introduction of myself. Now, why am I starting this blog?
Not only am I an MK, I am also a TCK. A TCK is a Third Culture Kid. What is that, you might ask? Think about it. My parents are from one culture (American) and I am living in a different culture (Chinese). However, I do not truly belong with either culture. Though I have done a lot of growing-up in China, the Chinese people do not accept me into their culture. I look different, I don't understand the language all that well, and I act differently. When I go to America, I blend in, but people my age often find me strange. I don't know the culture, I don't understand a lot of the humor, I don't know the popular music, etc. Because of this, we TCKs have created our own culture. We can relate to each other.
So really, the main point of this blog is to give all of my readers a glimpse a TCK's (and MK's) perspective on life. My perspective. Not to mention... who wouldn't want to read about China? And how amazingly awesome I am? :)
I am an MK living in North East Asia--China, to be specific. I was born in Seoul, South Korea, and lived there until I was almost eleven. At that point, my family moved to Yanji, China. As you can see, I have never really lived in the United States, which is where I have citizenship. I have visited the US, to be sure. My family travels there every three or four years and stays for about four or five months. There are exceptions to this, as once or twice my family traveled to the States two years in a row--for example, we went in 2007, and then again in 2008. In 2010, we went back again and stayed for nearly eight and a half months.
I am now seventeen years old and, as of this past June, have graduated from high-school at the top of my class--I was homeschooled, and therefore was always at the top of my class. I simply feel smarter when I can brag in such a way. I am taking a gap year which means I am staying at home for one more year before heading to (hopefully!) Liberty University next Fall. During this next year, I will be studying more Chinese, taking more online college courses through LU (I say "more," because I started taking them during my senior year of high-school), and working.
I have four sisters. Torie, who is fifteen, is our artsy one. You'll often find her drawing or painting in her room, outside, or anywhere else she feels like working. She loves bright colors and would choose a fruity sherbert over chocolate ice-cream any day. She also loves reading and is currently writing a story. Charis is thirteen. She enjoys sewing, knitting, cross-stitching, latch-hook... You get the picture. She also really enjoys cooking and drawing, as well as reading and writing stories. Alia is our youngest--sort of (you'll find out why in a minute). Anyone meeting us would know that she is the baby of the family. She's ten years old and is spoiled rotten--I mean, she's adorable. Alia is extremely outgoing and out of all my sisters, she is the one who is most likely to go outside and play with the local children, even though there are language difficulties. Alia, like my other two sisters, enjoys reading and writing stories, and drawing. She also can be found playing dress-up and house with her friends.
So far, I've mentioned only three of my sisters. The youngest is Hanissa and she is four years old. We are in the process of adopting her from Ethiopia. The Ethiopian government has signed her over to us, and she is now officially part of our family. She is still in Ethiopia, and my parents hope to be able to return in a month or two to bring her home. We are currently awaiting the US Embassy's approval of the documents.
Thus is the brief (...yes. This is the brief version!) introduction of myself. Now, why am I starting this blog?
Not only am I an MK, I am also a TCK. A TCK is a Third Culture Kid. What is that, you might ask? Think about it. My parents are from one culture (American) and I am living in a different culture (Chinese). However, I do not truly belong with either culture. Though I have done a lot of growing-up in China, the Chinese people do not accept me into their culture. I look different, I don't understand the language all that well, and I act differently. When I go to America, I blend in, but people my age often find me strange. I don't know the culture, I don't understand a lot of the humor, I don't know the popular music, etc. Because of this, we TCKs have created our own culture. We can relate to each other.
So really, the main point of this blog is to give all of my readers a glimpse a TCK's (and MK's) perspective on life. My perspective. Not to mention... who wouldn't want to read about China? And how amazingly awesome I am? :)
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